Taken (Justice for Jay Leno!)

This week on Mummy Dearest Podcast, Zach and Sloane unwrap 2008's zany human trafficking classic: "Taken". Travel back to a simpler time where a soft-yet-tough Liam Neeson strong arms his way across Europe to find his missing 25-year-old 17-year-old daughter. Listen to Zach regale listeners with tales of his time as an audience member for "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno". Then indulge your senses with a thorough walkthrough of a sit down dinner at Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson's Mediterranean style house (for the 20th time.) Sit back and relax and enjoy those topics and so much more on this week's episode of Mummy Dearest Podcast! 

Transcript

Zach (00:01)
Hey you little sex slaves.

Sloane Steel (00:03)
Hey you little human traffickers.

Zach (00:06)
Ooh, you guys, which one of you are traffickers and which one of you are the slaves? Find out on the quiz that we're putting together. No, we're not. Actually, we should.

Sloane Steel (00:16)
find out if our listeners are human traffickers or human traffickies.

Zach (00:20)
It's like I'm so- do you think you'd be a trafficker or a trafficky? I can see myself getting caught easily.

Sloane Steel (00:28)
I can see myself being a trafficker is the problem, if I'm being honest.

Zach (00:32)
Say, I

can see myself being a maniacal villain businessman, but I can also see myself really easily getting picked up at the airport by a handsome face.

Sloane Steel (00:36)
Yeah.

I would never fall for something like that, because I would be like, I don't think so. You're too ham- why are you talking to me?

Zach (00:47)
I would, the thing is that I would just trust them when I said, I would say, okay, but like, you're not going to hurt me, right? You promise?

Sloane Steel (00:54)
This isn't going to be like taken six, right? Right?

Zach (00:56)
I'd be like, you have, if you

promise it means it means a lot to me personally when someone makes a promise. So do you promise? And then he'd be like, yeah, I promise. And he'd be like, why you're so sweet.

Sloane Steel (01:06)
Okay, I'll get in

your car. I'll get in the back of your van with no seats. Okay.

Zach (01:11)
Listen,

all right, well today we're doing the movie Taken if you haven't pieced it together. It's about a retired CIA agent who travels across Europe and relies on his old skills to save his estranged daughter who has been kidnapped while on a trip to Paris. I don't think they're very estranged. It seems like they see each other pretty often and it seems like she loves him.

Sloane Steel (01:16)
Understood that yet.

It seems like it's the classic daddy wasn't there, but he loved from afar story.

Zach (01:41)
That's

what they allude us to think, but in reality he knows a lot about her and she seems to have a really good relationship with him.

Sloane Steel (01:49)
Well, the mom keeps saying like, yeah, she wanted to be a singer when she was little. But then she's like, no doubt I still want to be a singer. So I don't know.

Zach (01:55)
I do wanna be a singer. Yeah, like it seems like

the dad actually knows her a lot more than the mom does. I just don't, I don't know.

Sloane Steel (02:03)
They loved each other, that much is sure.

Zach (02:06)
The movie was released January 30th, 2008.

Sloane Steel (02:10)
It's cozy. I'm okay.

Zach (02:11)
Yeah,

that's totally fine with me. Where were you in 2008?

Sloane Steel (02:16)
I think I was at Florida State, I want to say. I want to guess that. Yeah, I was at Florida State.

Zach (02:21)
2008.

Sloane Steel (02:23)
Florida State.

Zach (02:25)
2008 Florida State is that what you guys were chanting

Sloane Steel (02:28)
Go NOLS, baby. Yeah,

that's how I remembered where I was. would be like, what year is it? 2008. Where am I? Florida State.

Zach (02:37)
I was working in IndieSavvyTBD.

Sloane Steel (02:41)
I had just left working in Nordstrom. I had left working at BP Home of the Kami. Thank you for calling BP Home of the Kami.

Zach (02:49)
AndySavvyTVD, this is Zach. why did

we both just?

Sloane Steel (02:55)
Thank you for calling BP home of the Kami. This is Sloan speaking. How may I help you?

Zach (02:59)
Can I get a room started for you?

Sloane Steel (03:01)
Can I take those things? Has anybody helped you today? Not me, I'm forgetting my employee number every time I had to put it into the computer.

Zach (03:10)
I could tell you my, I mean, it's so ingra- I used to get my employee number, my god, this is so embarrassing. In the year of our lords, between like 2004 and 2010, probably 2015, I would get my employee number at Nordstrom mixed up with my tanning number.

Sloane Steel (03:29)
my God.

Zach (03:31)
it

was like the same digits and it had like the same like gravitas yeah it was like yeah it had like this it had like the same rhythm

Sloane Steel (03:34)
It was like 303-0789, like a ring to it.

my god, that is so gay, Zach.

Zach (03:43)
No, it's horrible to say out loud and I actually wish I knew my tanning number now. I'd go in and just be like,

Sloane Steel (03:49)
I wish I could go.

Hey, do I have any free credits?

Zach (03:52)
I'm gonna go tan. don't know. Like, listen, I chug aspartame. I put weird chemicals on my body. I take pills like the second I feel a twinge of any pain or discomfort. So I don't know why we act like we can't go tanning.

Sloane Steel (04:08)
am about to go to, maybe by the time this episode is released, I'm already there, but I have a vacation to Cabo coming up and I'm not showing up the color I am right now, which is sheet white, ghostly white. I think I'm...

Zach (04:22)
with very

dark curtain bangs, the curl has left your hair again.

Sloane Steel (04:26)
Well, I just got my hair cut and they straightened it and I washed it three days ago. So right now it's just it's just it's just kind of sad and flat. I can fluff it up for you, but I also have headphones on, so.

Zach (04:33)
Okay.

No

it's fine it's just this is giving me like 2022 vibes.

Sloane Steel (04:43)
This is like a Tumblr girl 2012 haircut right now, but we're gonna work through it. We're working through it, we're gonna get there.

Zach (04:49)
Yeah, you're right. Okay.

The budget for this movie was we need to actually stay on track because like I have a lot of notes.

Sloane Steel (04:59)
Zach, I don't know if you can see this.

No, you still can't see that, you?

Zach (05:05)
Didn't

your microphone come with a stand? That's a lot of notes.

Sloane Steel (05:09)
It's paragraphs of notes.

Zach (05:12)
So the budget was $25 million and it grows to $226.8 million.

Sloane Steel (05:18)
Yeah, did.

Zach (05:20)
25 million dollars is ridiculously low.

Sloane Steel (05:24)
Well, they saved a lot of money on Fomka Johnson's wardrobe because half of the shirt was missing at the top. So they really cut corners there.

Zach (05:31)
She's,

we'll get into her, but the director was Pierre Morel and he has done basically nothing else. He's just done bad, unknown action movies and I think maybe went like straight to DVD like in Romania.

Sloane Steel (05:47)
So my husband's seen all of them.

Zach (05:49)
Yeah, probably. I'm not going to go too easy with the ages because nothing's that crazy.

Sloane Steel (05:56)
Wait,

I give you one fact first? When I was watching the credits, which I don't always hone in on, because I know you're going to do them, but for some reason, there's times where God says, look. And so I looked upon the screen and it said written by Luc Besson. And I was like, that name sounds so familiar. So I looked it up and he is the writer of the fifth element. And he's also the director of like the professional. I mean, so many things that.

Zach (05:58)
I would love you too.

Okay.

Sloane Steel (06:25)
very Basan Kodan. I don't know if I'm saying his name right, but.

Zach (06:28)
It felt, the writing felt, you know, we'll get into it because there was part of this movie. All right, well, hold on. So Liam Neeson was 56, which I think is a soft 56.

Sloane Steel (06:44)
I'm shocked. He looks beautiful. look, mean, beautiful is not the right word. He looked, I thought you were going to tell me like, I thought elegant. thought you were going to tell me like 45 and I was going to say rough 45. Incredible for his like later fifties.

Zach (06:46)
That's what I'm saying is pushing 60 in this.

Elegant.

I agree. I was shocked. I thought that maybe he would have been 60 in like taken three. I thought that maybe that would have been. He's that's I agree. So FOMCO was 44 fine. Whatever.

Sloane Steel (07:08)
He's live. He can move.

That is, that's,

I mean, that's, she looks good. She looks good.

Zach (07:20)
Do you think

so?

Sloane Steel (07:23)
Her face

Zach (07:25)
I've met her.

at a taping of Jay Leno. feel like we've talked about this.

Sloane Steel (07:32)
yeah, did you like physically meet her or just you saw her from afar?

Zach (07:35)
was more of

like a close quarters wave.

Sloane Steel (07:39)
Did she wave back?

Zach (07:41)
I think in general, I don't think it was like, to me. I was a mile away in a a balcony road. No, I was front row edge. was front row at Jay Leno in a folding chair.

Sloane Steel (07:44)
So you were standing there in a crowd of people weaving at her. Okay. Okay, got it. So you guys met.

I, it's coming back to me now.

Who was the musical guest?

Zach (08:01)
Oh my god, this is the thing, every single time you ask me this, I don't remember, but it was an alt rock song that was very popular and then they never had any hits again. I'll text my friend group and hopefully they'll respond within the next 45 minutes.

Sloane Steel (08:04)
You don't ever remember?

Okay.

We'll circle back.

Zach (08:21)
who was the musical guest when we were at J. Leno.

Sloane Steel (08:25)
Classic thing to receive at 10 o'clock in the morning.

Zach (08:30)
Okay, anyway, she seems like a bitch in real life too, but So we start off with like a little montage of prior birthdays. I'm sorry and Maggie grace was 25

Sloane Steel (08:47)
That was very clearly a woman in her mid-20s. It was not a young teen girl, and I don't know why they were

Zach (08:51)
Yeah. A 17 year

old, the precipice of youth.

Sloane Steel (08:56)
Yeah,

sorry, that's not, that was not a teenage girl. No matter how stupidly you dressed her down, I wasn't buying it.

Zach (09:06)
still younger than the cast of Grease.

Sloane Steel (09:09)
younger than the cast of Grease. I did see a viral, people are talking about the ages in Grease again, which and people are acting like, I know, and people are acting like they don't, they're like this movie called Grease, which like, excuse me, what do mean this movie called Grease? Like it's Grease. And then I feel ancient and then I'm like, that movie is from the seventies.

Zach (09:16)
It comes up every couple years.

No, I know it's...

I just gonna say it came out in the 70s like imagine I'm trying to think of like like if somebody was born in the year 2000 and they're 25 right now

Sloane Steel (09:45)
Didn't their, don't their parents show, what do these kids watch? Are they watching like, is like Aquamarine their classic film? Must be.

Zach (09:53)
It's yeah, like their classic films are not our classic film. Their classic films are Titanic and our that's like was that's like one of our well, it's one of our films, but it's not a film that our parents had to like sit us down to make us watch.

Sloane Steel (10:00)
Isn't that one of ours?

I feel like I don't know how I got my hands on Grease, once I did, like that was my life.

Zach (10:13)
Because like you show Rex movies from when you were a kid. So our parents did the same thing, so these kids' parents are doing the same thing, it's just not Greece.

Sloane Steel (10:16)
Yeah.

hard to hear.

Zach (10:26)
just the circle of life I guess. Anyway, so we get like a little montage of this girl's prior birthdays. We find out that she's a horse girl. She was receiving like Briar's ponies. I can relate. Skip to like she's having a birthday party. I mean I know that she's only 17, but to be having like a party like that.

Sloane Steel (10:53)
It's like a, it's at her rich father, her rich stepfather's estate. And there's a, there's a party for the kids and a separate party for the parents.

Zach (11:02)
I can like, that's like, that to me was like a graduation party.

Sloane Steel (11:08)
Yeah, that was like a Real Housewives of New York like.

Zach (11:11)
But like when you would go to a graduation party like your senior year of high school, it would be like a lot of the parents would be there, but then all the kids would be like either in a basement or in a backyard or something. Having a birthday party with like wrapped gifts and like magicians and shit.

Sloane Steel (11:27)
This was like tents and marquees out on the lawn. There was an Arabian horse that she was gifted. mean.

Zach (11:33)
she was gifted like

a $2 million horse and then jumped right on it. Like it wasn't even like nice to meet you, I should get used to this animal. She met this horse and leaped on it in the middle of a party.

Sloane Steel (11:38)
Right on.

No.

Which I don't think a horse person would do, I gotta be honest with you.

Zach (11:48)
They wouldn't.

They would spend weeks getting to know the horse. It would be like.

Sloane Steel (11:53)
It would like start behind a post, get a little closer, go behind a tree, a little closer, leave a t-shirt in the horse's corral to get the smell.

Zach (12:01)
The name of the band

was Fort Minor.

Sloane Steel (12:04)
I've never heard of that band in my life.

Zach (12:06)
Yes you have, hold on. You have heard of them and I'm about to give you the Murphy Browns.

Sloane Steel (12:13)
rate.

Zach (12:15)
are you ready for a Brown Murphy? I actually don't know what the name of the song was that.

Sloane Steel (12:19)
I'm ready.

Zach (12:29)
They only had one album.

Sloane Steel (12:33)
my god. Well, congratulations to them for getting on Jay Leno, I guess.

Zach (12:39)
you know what I can't, I don't know that there's, I don't know the name of the song.

Sloane Steel (12:46)
Alright, well you guys will circle back again maybe at a later, later date. be right back with Fort Minor's biggest hit.

Zach (12:58)
Okay, nevermind. I thought I was like, did you hear that?

Sloane Steel (12:59)
What the fuck? That sounds like,

it sounds like something from like one of the Bad, Fast and Furious movies.

Zach (13:08)
It does. Do you know this song? That's embarrassing.

Sloane Steel (13:11)
That's the song.

Yeah.

So that is, I think, Fast and Furious, which is why it sounds so familiar.

Zach (13:24)
Fast and furious.

My friend just said, I only remember that stupid actress we saw.

Sloane Steel (13:34)
my

God, it's so cold where I am that I have like a scientist headache with like snot just like flowing freely out of my nose. I feel like I have like, I have like brain freeze. Does that make sense?

Zach (13:48)
Yes. This is the show I was at that my friend just found out of nowhere. Do you hear this?

Sloane Steel (13:50)
What?

Zach (14:00)
Okay, you know this song, right? Where'd you go?

Sloane Steel (14:04)
Kind of. Let me hear it.

Thank God this style of music went away.

Zach (14:21)
Slow and then wait you hear the chorus you're gonna remember

Do you remember that? How did my friend just find an Instagram reel of the show, of the Jay Leno show we were at?

Sloane Steel (14:36)
Yeah. That's disgusting.

Your friend has a unique set of skills. Does your friend work for the CIA as well?

Zach (14:47)
No, like...

That is insane. She's like, I will find you and I will stalk you.

Sloane Steel (14:54)
Okay, let's.

I will

find you and I will find the performance you did on Jay Leno in 2008, which is scary. Very scary. Like all, all the people in that band are working at like AutoZone and like Kansas now. You know what I mean? That's so tough to get like a taste of fame. That's so tough.

Zach (15:04)
No, that's really scary. It was actually 2006 now that I think of that.

Get in the zone guys

Like to be on Jay Leno when you're like, guys, this is it. We're on Jay Leno.

Sloane Steel (15:19)
You're like, this is it.

And then everybody's like, we're only going to make Lincoln Park famous for doing that thing that you guys are doing.

Zach (15:24)
Sorry.

It was an episode

of Jay Leno with them, Famke Jansen, and an animal guy.

Sloane Steel (15:33)
You really? Like that's like, that's really bad. I can't even, I can't even, I don't even, I don't even have words for that. I would have left, honestly.

Zach (15:36)
the worst episode I could have ever gone to.

Can we like

stop talking about me being at Jane Leno? No one cares. I'll find a picture. I'll find the pictures of me at Jane Leno wearing a turquoise Ralph Lauren polo.

Sloane Steel (15:47)
I don't think so. I do. I care a lot.

Okay, I don't want to see that. Let's keep moving on.

Zach (16:01)
holding an NBC Universal water bottle.

Sloane Steel (16:05)
No, Zach, you got to stop. Let's move on. It's time to move on.

Zach (16:10)
All right, I'm like really happy life's moved on. That thing you posted the other day or a month ago was really, where it was like talking about the woman who had 36 years left of her life.

Sloane Steel (16:16)
What was it?

I posted that about seven hours ago.

Zach (16:26)
No, was like three weeks ago.

Sloane Steel (16:29)
right. Yeah, that thing I posted three weeks ago. Yeah. Isn't that like really important to read?

Zach (16:34)
It was important to read.

Sloane Steel (16:36)
It was like, that was some real shit.

Zach (16:39)
No, I know.

Sloane Steel (16:41)
Should I like read it to the people right now? Cause they don't know what we're talking about.

Zach (16:44)
No, if you guys don't follow Sloan, don't remember her post from three weeks ago, then like you're just not even a real fan.

Sloane Steel (16:50)
It's basically just like, guys, you have just spent the last, however old you are, all those years you have ahead of you, the same amount of time. And those first X amount of years were spent like being reared as a child and fucking up a lot and being in your twenties and all that shit. And now you are free. You, the things that happened to you in your childhood, they no longer need to, they don't serve you. Let them go. You are your own person now and you can make your own informed decisions with your own friends and family.

Move on, let everything go. Just live the life you want.

Zach (17:23)
You have the same

amount of time that you've lived but without half of it being out of your control.

Sloane Steel (17:28)
Yeah, you are in control of your life. No one can do it. I think it might be, I can't wait till the AI is like motivational speaking with Zach and Sloan.

Zach (17:31)
This is a motivational podcast now.

All right, sorry, so anyway, Fomka is a huge bitch in this movie. She literally will not give her ex-husband like a second to give his daughter. She's like, first of all, the security guard was like, sir, you can't go through there. Like he's on the Titanic. And he's like, I'm actually her father. And he's like, I work for her father. And he's like, I'm the one who fucking jizzed in her mother, you idiot. So back the fuck up.

Sloane Steel (17:46)
a bitch in every movie.

crazy.

Yeah,

that was really fucking rude. Also having a bouncer?

Zach (18:05)
If someone said that to

me, think I would like that's like when I start to like I really am calm like for a very long time, but that's something that would really, really set me off. And then he's like giving her a present. She's like the presents go over there and he's like, I don't give a fuck and then she starts to open it and the mom's like, don't you think it's rude? I would literally be like, mom, get the fuck away from me. Did that trigger you?

Sloane Steel (18:09)
No, no, would not sit well.

That was fucked up to say.

No, the way that this daughter,

I can't even tell you how badly those scenes triggered me. I was like, I would want to just be left in the sex trafficking ring so I don't have to deal with my fucking parents anymore. Fighting.

Zach (18:44)
To want to, like

to, know that like you wanna live with your millionaire parents, but like to want to like come home and like stay with her, I'd be like, actually dad.

Sloane Steel (18:54)
Dad, I'm going to come live in your like weird shanty with your weird friends. The mom was like loving, but just like hated him so much, I guess. I couldn't really tell.

Zach (18:55)
I'll get a job. I know, but like, I'd rather

It was

like she hated him so she hated half of her daughter.

Sloane Steel (19:09)
Wow, that's really fucking crazy.

Zach (19:11)
I feel like that's what happens with like really narcissistic parents.

Sloane Steel (19:15)
Wow, that's so interesting. I think you're absolutely right. That explains a lot.

Zach (19:21)
So it's like each parent hates the other half of you.

Sloane Steel (19:25)
Wow. Wow.

Zach (19:28)
so

you're never fully loved by both parents.

Sloane Steel (19:31)
I've never been fully loved by anyone and I can't wait to...

Zach (19:33)
That's not true.

Your, your son thinks that you're like, well, he does think you're fat.

Sloane Steel (19:40)
He does think I'm fat, that is true, that is true. Okay. Okay.

Zach (19:43)
So, all right. Anyway,

that's been another motive. We're like getting really therapeutic in here today.

Sloane Steel (19:50)
Wait, I know someone that loves me fully. Her name is Frederica. And she told me to call her Freddie.

Zach (19:57)
Is she a pen

pal from high school?

Sloane Steel (20:01)
She's a mummy dearest friend of the show, fan of the show, and extremely hot woman who I could leave my husband for and be with. So I always have her as an option. So thank you, Freddie, for being there for me. And just stay there for me because I might need you one day.

Zach (20:23)
That's really nice, I hope you're listening, Fred. So... Mr. and Mrs. Fred Sloan Steele. He gets her a karaoke machine and he like goes to like a used electronics store which always give me the heebie-jeebies.

Sloane Steel (20:27)
Miss, Miss Fred.

I can't wait.

brother, what is it about those places?

Zach (20:46)
And he

because they're always like gimmicky electronics. It's not things that you need. It's like

Sloane Steel (20:51)
Yeah, it's like sharper image stuff that fell off the back of a truck.

Zach (20:55)
That's exactly what it is. So she gets this beautifully. He wraps the present perfectly.

Sloane Steel (20:57)
very.

one of my notes is I guess they teach you gift wrapping in the CIA because that was very good.

Zach (21:09)
the way he like slid his fingers down that box, like not even I do that.

Sloane Steel (21:14)
to have a single man not only like gift wrap something, but like he went to a store like bought gift wrap, bought ribbon.

Zach (21:22)
The day

my father would ever buy me something and wrap it is, it will never, it has never happened and it will never, it has never happened.

Sloane Steel (21:35)
I like would love to see what Paul would go out and get if I was like, I need you to go get me wrapping paper. Like, what would he come back with?

Zach (21:41)
What is it with certain people that just like can't go buy things and wrap them? I don't get it.

Sloane Steel (21:47)
I

don't know, it's like, as you know, it's our biggest pleasure in life to go and wrap things.


Zach (22:10)
All right, so now we have a boys night after the party. kind of like ends up getting, he doesn't get kicked out of the party, but he gets like strongly suggested that he leave because the Arabian horse kind of like took over the karaoke machine. Then he goes home and he looks at her birthday book, which I think is a really cute idea to do, like to take a picture of your kid and just put that one picture on each page every year. I think it's a very sweet idea, especially in a time where you have.

Sloane Steel (22:22)
Yeah.

It is really sweet.

Zach (22:40)
260,000 images on your phone and you only like look at them like I just think like it's a good idea to like print pictures I think we need to get back to some basics

Sloane Steel (22:42)
literally.

I saw a little thing that you attach to your phone that prints out photos immediately.

Zach (22:56)
I would really like is it on like good paper or is it on like.

Sloane Steel (23:00)
It's on like good photo. think it's like from Polaroid. like attach it and it prints, you like attach it to your phone and it prints immediately. I think that's a great little thing as well.

Zach (23:04)
I would pay top dollar for that.

Because it's not on like the paper that you get from like a family fun center.

Sloane Steel (23:17)
No, no, no, no, no. It's not on when when print when home printers started having like print for your own photo options and it was just like the streakiest. No, no, it's not that. think it's real, real deal photos. It's I think it's expensive. It's like over one hundred and fifty bucks. OK, well, there you go.

Zach (23:25)
It was like a roll of paper.

I would pay top dollar.

That's not that I thought it was gonna be more than that. So anyway, after that he gets a boys night with Sloan and I's favorite summer meal, a steak and salad.

Sloane Steel (23:45)
Okay, I wrote down, I thought that in this scene, so they're calling him a retiree, but I thought they were calling him a retardee. And I kept being like, what is that? For sure. was like, why? I thought they were like, that the Hanks' house being called retardees. It was a Hanks coated summer salad out on the porch kind of night. And I appreciated that.

Zach (23:54)
Well, that's more of like a party that you and I would be at.

The hank says.

It was, and I think that if

we were at the Hanks' I think Tom would probably call me a retard. I do think he would.

Sloane Steel (24:16)
Chetwood, that's for sure.

Zach (24:18)
Chetwood, but out of like liberal love.

Sloane Steel (24:21)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's an ally.

Zach (24:23)
Hank would call me a retard. Like, I mean, Tom would call me a retard, I think, like.

Sloane Steel (24:28)
I think he'd hit you.

Zach (24:32)
I think that like I would knock over the salt bowl because he wouldn't have shakers. He would have them in little bowls. And I think I'd knock over the salt bowl and he would say, what are you a retard?

Sloane Steel (24:38)
Yeah.

I do too. I really do too.

Zach (24:43)
Because

he had like maybe one too many sips of like the day old shard.

Sloane Steel (24:48)
The day old shard hit him real hard and he started calling you the retard.

Zach (24:50)
Yeah.

And I think that like, it's just it had, and Chet kind of had just like apologize and Rita's like.

Sloane Steel (24:59)
Shuts sober, so he's trying to like manage everything and Rita starts crying. She's like, this is why. What if Colin came over?

Zach (25:02)
Yeah, Chet only shows up for dessert to be honest with you, but...

god, that would be the worst, I think.

Sloane Steel (25:12)
I don't think there's anything worse than having Thanksgiving at the Hanks's house.

Zach (25:16)
I really agree with you. We can't get over dinner at the Hanks's, at the Wilson Hanks's.

Sloane Steel (25:17)
can't think of anything worse.

You guys, don't know why, why are

we on this like, we can't stop thinking about it. Cause it's so real.

Zach (25:31)
It'll be the most real, but also surreal moment of your life.

Sloane Steel (25:39)
Okay, dinner at the Hanks'

Zach (25:39)
Alright, I'm sorry,

I love the, I love the Hank's, the Wilson and Hank's bits.

Sloane Steel (25:44)
I just

love thinking about them. I love thinking about eating alfresco there. Yeah, of course I have a kitchen in my head. It's like really big window. Like the sink is by a really big window and there's like a lot of like hanging plants and it's not as organized as you think. Like the spices are like out. It's big.

Zach (25:47)
What? Do you have a kitchen in your head? When you me too? Me too.

There's an area where

there's a lot of bills or something piled up. Like mail is piled up in a corner. And there's maybe like an old desktop.

Sloane Steel (26:07)
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like.

Yeah, it's like big and fancy, but hasn't been touched since like 1996.

Zach (26:17)
I totally agree and there's also like a big island but then like off to the left there's sliding doors onto a deck.

Sloane Steel (26:21)
Big, big island.

I see an island and it's got like a butcher block top and it's cut to shit. And then around it is like, feel like the kitchen floor is Mexican tile, obviously. Like has to be Mexican tile. That's what I'm envisioning a hacienda home. I just think that's what Rita would do. And I feel like there's like mismatched, mismatched like

Zach (26:38)
it's still Hacienda coded.

Yeah, 100%.

Sloane Steel (26:51)
tongs and serving spoons in like a Mexican pitcher that they got from a trip to Mexico. it like, it's just, I feel very, it's very hacienda in there. And so of course they'd have the salt bowls. I mean, the, hello, you think Rita is not drinking out of the pure one clear glass with the blue rim? You think that's not what her margaritas are served out of? Come on. She's got the cactus stem margarita blue rim glasses. Cause she's rich. Cause she's rich.

Zach (27:01)
Boomers love Mexico.

The blue rim.

Alright, so anyway, we haven't even gotten to like the kidnapping yet. I know, sorry. So anyway, it's boys night, steak night. They convince him to volunteer for a Pop Diva security night.

Sloane Steel (27:22)
All right, back to take-in, Jesus Christ.

This was very, I think where Night Shyamalan got the idea for the trap movie was from the concert here.

Zach (27:39)
It felt trappy.

So they get there and it's like a Britney Spears coded diva who like needs security. I just don't think that like a diva like this, like a pop girl would have like rented security.

Sloane Steel (27:54)
Yeah, I think she has security detail, for sure.

Zach (27:57)
Like

with her at all times and like a bot like there's a head of security and he has people I just don't think that this would happen

Sloane Steel (28:03)
Yeah,

this is a post-9-11 world, come on.

Zach (28:06)
That's what I mean. Not even that post. It's like it's like five to seven years later. So they go there. I mean, they get attacked. The diva gets attacked and he has to like use his his skills to get her like to beat the guy up, get her in the limo. And then he starts like she's having like a panic attack, which one would and he starts forcing orange soda down her throat.

Sloane Steel (28:32)
for the shock.

Zach (28:33)
I thought that that was like a really weird thing to put in the movie. think that was like, it wouldn't have gone unnoticed if nothing happened in that scene.

Sloane Steel (28:38)
I think anytime...

That didn't need to happen. guess they were just showing us that he has like all of these like, cause then later on when he's giving like an IV, I think we're supposed to have like these little cues that he has like medical knowledge to like help people as well. Like he's just such a Renaissance man. That's like what I took from that.

Zach (28:59)
Okay it just was a weird... and then she takes a sip and he's like no keep drinking!

Sloane Steel (29:01)
That's all I took from I agree.

That at that point, if I was the girl, I'd be like, something weird is going on here.

Zach (29:10)
I would be like there's something in the orange soda and you worked with the other guy.

Sloane Steel (29:13)
Yeah,

I wouldn't feel, I would never feel safe if I was famous.

Zach (29:18)
No, of course, you don't feel safe now.

Sloane Steel (29:20)
I feel like there's someone behind me at almost all moments of my life. Is that normal? That's true. Good point.

Zach (29:24)
while your house is haunted.

So now we find so the girl his daughter wants to go to Paris she needs his permission to leave the country I don't think I don't know if this is true because I went to Europe as a child as an under 18 year old and I don't think anyone signed anything I don't think I mean I I went to Europe with with school and like I don't think my dad I mean my dad was worried if he would have rather me not go

Sloane Steel (29:38)
No.

No, I don't think that's... maybe.

Maybe did he sign a permission slip or did you just need one parent?

Zach (29:57)
My mom probably

did. She was my guardian. Like she was like the one who I lived with.

Sloane Steel (30:03)
I don't know, because it's not like they have split custody. So I don't know the legality of that situation.

Zach (30:09)
Unless maybe in like the divorce it was like, she can't leave the country without my permission. Okay, that makes more sense. Anyway, he's really hesitant. He ends up signing the paper the next day. And like, honestly, I don't understand why like Fomka's character wouldn't be like, of course he needs to think about it. He's seen horrible things. His young daughter is going to Europe. He just needs like a night. He's like,

Sloane Steel (30:12)
Yeah, that makes sense, okay.

Zach (30:38)
He's like, you actually made me really excited to have lunch with you. thought that you wanted to like talk and just hang out. And now I'm being now I'm figuring out that you just needed something and you're bringing this woman who hates me and you're asking me to do something that I'm not comfortable with. I just need a minute.

Sloane Steel (30:45)
parted.

Yeah, like you're springing this on me. I'm a wound up high strung kind of guy and

Zach (30:59)
And like how horrible

to like make someone so excited to see you and then you find out that it's just for like a permission slip and you're bringing a bitch with you. So mean.

Sloane Steel (31:04)
I know.

story of my husband's life, pretty much, whenever Rex and I show up.

Zach (31:13)
It's just so mean.

So he ends up saying he agrees and he just go he gets there and he's like, Listen, I'm giving you a satellite phone, you have to call me and honestly, like my dad is like, you guys know that there's stuff with my dad and I but like, every vacation that I went on that was more than like 100 miles from home. He was like, in true panic attack mode the whole time. And I needed to he was like, you have to call me when you like get to a hotel like it just my dad is like,

high level anxiety and depression. So I had to just respect that.

Sloane Steel (31:48)
And actually seeing this movie and thinking about my own child had me concerned at how lackadaisical my parents were with my whereabouts and my vacations. I was just everywhere, kind of checked in sometimes. No one ever knew where I was. I was usually hiding and they didn't see my mind.

Zach (32:07)
I was in Torramina, Italy

once and the tour guide we were with got raped in her hotel room.

Sloane Steel (32:13)
Bye.

Zach (32:15)
I don't even know by who, but in the same city, in the same city, we were 16 years old and I was like, we were just hanging out somewhere, like literally across the street from the hotel and guys were like, guys were like old men were like hitting on me and like other all the other girls and like other boy. It just was like a very unsafe place and nobody was like protecting us.

Sloane Steel (32:18)
Jesus Christ.

Yeah.

Were you guys okay?

Zach (32:41)
It's just that like it made me so uncomfortable for like people in another language who are much older than me to be like touching my shoulder and like doing things like that and I didn't have the wherewithal to be like respect my body sir and it was broad and right so like I mean and a teacher wasn't stepping in no one like it just was like very it just was really weird and they were like letting us drink and it just was not

Sloane Steel (32:55)
Yeah, respect my body.

You are alone.

Not safe.

Zach (33:09)
very lucky that nothing horrible, well I shouldn't say that because the tour guide did get attacked, but she got on the bus that next morning like nothing happened.

Sloane Steel (33:15)
Yeah, that's true.

in true tour guide Italian woman tour guide fashion. Poor thing, I hope she got help.

Zach (33:25)
I'm going to find a picture of her to show you because I think you'd really be interested in this woman. Not sexually, but

Sloane Steel (33:30)
shocked?

I have some questions, so I'd like to see what I could see.

Zach (33:37)
Alright,

so anyway, he ends up letting her go, she's super happy, but then he finds out that she is not going to one apartment into one city with one person. She is doing something so insidious, so horrible, so... She is going around Europe to follow U2 on their European...

Sloane Steel (33:48)
Mm-mm.

Elevation! Woo!

Zach (34:05)
leg of their tour like all 17 year olds want to do not only go to it I can understand I guess I can understand if you're a YouTube fan and I'm sorry if you are but if you were like if you were like I'm go to Paris and see you too fine it's not but it's better than like if you're gonna go to a European city and you're like I'm go see a concert all right but you're going to follow them around Europe

Sloane Steel (34:06)
Like all teenage girls in 2000.

going to a one concert.

Is it fine?

Zach (34:34)
and go to every concert?

Sloane Steel (34:35)
Mm-mm.

I can't imagine going to every concert for a band.

Zach (34:39)
I wouldn't follow any

artist anywhere. I'd go to one concert, maybe, and that's it.

Sloane Steel (34:44)
Maybe

Celine Dion. I'd follow her around a little bit.

Zach (34:48)
If Selina Quintanilla was alive I'd go with her.

Sloane Steel (34:52)
I just can't fathom going across the world, across the world to hear like Sunday Bloody Sunday in a bunch of weird European cities.

Zach (34:54)
Come on, let's LOOOO

Only

for it to be forced downloaded on your phone a couple years later.

Sloane Steel (35:06)
That's what I'm saying. I was just telling Rex about this and he didn't care. He didn't care about you too on my iPod, but I was like, Rex, it was really strange. He was like, okay.

Zach (35:19)
was like

the weirdest promotional I feel like they never came and they never recovered from that I feel like

Sloane Steel (35:21)
Why that? was so weird. I

think they're doing fine, but yeah, they really, people were like, what the hell? Cause when you would hit shuffle, all of a sudden you get a fucking random ass U2 song that like you didn't want to hear. It was crazy. No guys, you don't understand. Like you just had to put up with U2. It was weird.

Zach (35:35)
And to delete songs off your phone back then was not an easy feat.

all right. So right before the action kicks off, I did write the plot to get to the action is the most deranged insane plot. It's like it's just like it was so many steps instead of just showing a daughter on a flight. It's like literally the the first scene of that movie could have been him saying goodbye to her at the airport.

Sloane Steel (35:55)
So many steps.

It's crazy setup.

Airport

would have been fine to have that.

Zach (36:13)
It was really crazy to lead into that. It was so wild.

Sloane Steel (36:19)
You can tell us that he's a worried father, like literally just show us that at the airport when he's giving her the map and the phone and all that stuff. Like that would set the scene. Like we don't need all of this rigmarole. We don't need the banana milk, the banana cream milkshakes. Like we don't need all of this. We don't need Fomka Johnson in another off the shoulder blouse. Like it was just too much.

Zach (36:24)
driving to the airport even.

It was so crazy.

It was

really crazy to lead into it because once the action started it was incredible like I could have watched it another I don't want to say another half hour, but you know what I mean? It just was like It was it was high octane as they say on Netflix or or HBO wherever we watched it and Anyway, so the action gets started we see so the daughter calls her father or no He calls her and he's like you were supposed to call me and she's like, I'm really sorry. Whatever

Sloane Steel (36:50)
Yeah.

It was nonstop, full throttle.

It really was.

Zach (37:13)
She's across the courtyard and this scene was truly chilling to me.

Sloane Steel (37:19)
I agree. they, they hitch a ride with this guy at the airport, this handsome guy that Zach would a hundred percent get kidnapped by. And he's like, Oh, will come later for party. all pick you up for a party. That was a really weird French accent. I guess he was Serbian. I don't know. Anyway, whatever he was. Um, so they dropped them off and then the girl's like, Hey, I lied to you. Her friend, she's like, I lied to you. I'm a slut. My family's not here. We have this whole piano tear to ourselves all summer long. And then.

Zach (37:34)
He was Albanian.

And we are gonna fuck

Peter.

Sloane Steel (37:50)
We're gonna fuck. And then she puts on like the loudest party music. She's dancing on a couch with her shoes on. Rude guest. But don't worry because seven minutes later they're both kidnapped.

Zach (38:01)
Not even. It's like

she literally like she's watching from across Liam's daughter is watching from across the courtyard and can see her being kidnapped. It is so chilling to me for that to happen.

Sloane Steel (38:11)
Yeah.

That is such a scary thing to see. can't even fathom watching your friend get kidnapped and you're like, do I help them or do I save my own life? You can't defend your friend against two or three large men.

Zach (38:31)
No,

and then when they're on and then she's on the phone with her father while this is happening and I have full body goosebumps even thinking about this line, but when he says to her, they're going to take you.

Sloane Steel (38:40)
you

It's so good.

Zach (38:47)
It is so good

you guys and I know that this movie is like a silly action movie but like that line I still have goosebumps I can't get rid of them like when he says to his daughter they're going to take you

Sloane Steel (38:52)
It is good.

I have them too.

That's so scary.

Zach (39:03)
And because there's nothing he can do, there's nothing she can do, but he has to- he says to her like, they're going to take you, but here's what you need to do for this to be like, as easy as possible.

Sloane Steel (39:15)
And it really was easy as possible.

Zach (39:18)
for I mean, he knew what to do. So he's on the phone with her and he's like, you need to tell me how tall they are. If you see any tattoos, what their skin color is like, and he will you know, I would have listened, we're gonna get in. No, so like, you know, you and I, we're gonna get into this. But like, they're like, he hears her getting kidnapped, it's atrocious. And then the guy gets on the phone. And he does the whole thing where he's like, I will find you.

Sloane Steel (39:20)
He did.

There's astrological sign rising. Like, what's their moon sign? What's his moon sign?

Zach (39:47)
and I will kill you.

Sloane Steel (39:49)
This is the unique set of skills monologue. I'm sure I'll clip it into the end of this episode, but this was, okay, so I, for one second, let's get out of that scene. Liam Neeson is six foot four inches tall. I looked up like the height that people are supposed to be to be like agents, like special agents. And I don't know if it's true for the CIA, cause I couldn't find anything specifically for the CIA.

Zach (40:18)
wonder why.

Sloane Steel (40:19)
But for

like MI6, you can't be more than 5'11".

Zach (40:24)
That makes sense. Like you you you can't be like taught. Yeah, you've got to be like very average.

Sloane Steel (40:25)
Yeah, you can't be, you can't stick out.

Like you can't be like a super strong beak nose, six foot four, like ruggedly handsome Irish, Irish Scottish. What is he? No, but what is he Irish? Irishman. You can't like, you can't do like, you can't look like that. That wouldn't really make worker make sense. But anyway, his daughter is like being kidnapped and she's like six foot one Aries Virgo rising.

Zach (40:40)
Not in this movie, but yeah. He's Irish, yeah.

No.

I know it's true. On the cusp.

Sloane Steel (41:01)
One hairy knuckle.

His mom's birthdate is 1957. So crazy. He's like, okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay.

Zach (41:09)
It's like, it's like, very true. Listen,

I just think that like, I would if my dad was like, you're going to get caught. I think I would have hidden the phone. I just think I would have like at that point. Now listen, I'm no I'm no CIA operative. Put the phone somewhere where they can hear and just like arms up be like, okay, take like, listen, no resisting. Take me.

Sloane Steel (41:23)
Like, what do you mean?

Put the phone down your pants.

Zach (41:38)
Do you want me to blow you now? Do you want like, what do you want? And they're like, no, not now. And I'm like, no, are you sure? think we should.

Sloane Steel (41:41)
I'm ready to be taken.

Do you have a selection of organza robes for me to wear? Some crystal bikinis? Where is wardrobe?

Zach (41:50)
No, we're gonna get into the we're gonna we're gonna

get into the into the sex slave costume designer in a second.

Sloane Steel (42:00)
I love that job. That's my job

at the headquarters, evil headquarters. I'm the costumer.

Zach (42:04)
All

right, we'll get into it now. like what in like is there like in an evil sex slave corporation? Is there a wardrobe department? Like is there like clearly there is?

Sloane Steel (42:19)
I think maybe what is really happening is there's a whole sex slave ring taking place in the back of a legs avenue factory because there's truly no other explanation for the showgirl style. Like cabaret showgirls, Luanda Lassup style outfit changes, heels.

Zach (42:31)
gorgeous velvet cloaks.

Because what I imagine in like sex slavery is like

those Chinese stores like downtown that have like, like that you can get like, you can get like a doll like a little dress for $1.

Sloane Steel (42:44)
Yeah, like beauty girl, beauty girl shirt.

Yeah, an umbrella, some slippers.

Zach (42:54)
that's what I was like imagining because like all when I was in high school, the girls used to love to go downtown to the Chinese stores because like they could get their clubbing outfits for their fake IDs. And it was just like a little like Jersey knit. No, it wasn't even cotton. was like right. It was like a rayon. Like piece of fabric. Yeah, like truly. And like you could get it was like four for $1.

Sloane Steel (43:12)
It's literally like a melted down Fisher Price factory reject toy refashioned to a strapless dress.

No, it's the best, like, they had for the virgins, I guess they had a whole highfalutin costuming department because the other girls just looked like they had gone to Little Miss Beauty store in downtown.

Zach (43:32)
Like

the leading up to it, mean? Yeah, like. Yeah.

Sloane Steel (43:35)
the leading up to it.

But then the main girls, mean, seemed like she was, aside from the drugs, it seemed like she was being treated really well. mean, her Stuart Weitzman sensible strappy diamante heel fit perfectly.

Zach (43:48)
Sensible is right.

It's weird to put them in a sensible heel.

Sloane Steel (43:51)
Why are they putting them in like clear, lucite stripper heels? Why are they in a little, they were literally in like little showgirl. Like truly, it was so weird. Little hood, they put the hood down and it's like little, and multiple hoods, multiple hooded robes. It was like the eyes wide shut costume department. my God, you guys, it was so much. I was really mad at the end when the daughter didn't get off the bed wearing like a little kitten heel. I felt like she should have had a shoe on.

Zach (43:56)
in a in a Louboutin Pagel. Yeah, like I don't know.

Lots of hooded. The lace, the lace, the white lace robes.

When I saw her barefoot I was like why aren't they keeping her in her go- I would love to see an action scene in her velvet robe and her heels.

Sloane Steel (44:23)
I was like, ew.

That's

what I'm talking. I was like, why are we not wearing a shoe? Like even one shoe to show a struggle.

Zach (44:35)
Exactly. Okay. Anyway.

Sloane Steel (44:37)
We're very detail-oriented with our sex slaves, you guys, as it should be.

Zach (44:42)
Listen, we

would just do it better.

Sloane Steel (44:44)
That's the thing. It's like, if you're going to do it, like you need the, like they obviously understood like you need the panache of all of that, but then they didn't, they didn't follow through all the way to the end. They didn't follow through. Okay.

Zach (44:50)
correct. Follow through. They didn't follow through. anyway,

Amanda gets kidnapped and I mean Amanda and what's her name Kimmy?

Sloane Steel (45:03)
Kimmy's sure, Kimmy Gibbler.

Zach (45:04)
Kimmy gets kidnapped, I don't remember. When he has to call his wife, do you think he was like a little happy to tell her about it?

Sloane Steel (45:07)
I don't even know.

Yeah, he was like, told you. Told you so.

Zach (45:14)
I mean my note is

Lenore deserved this.

Sloane Steel (45:18)
Lenny deserved what she got, her daughter taken. Her daughter being taken, like that is, I can't even imagine like the feeling of helplessness that would like wash over you when your daughter is kidnapped in a foreign country and like.

Zach (45:20)
She deserved this.

He didn't feel

helpless. felt like his unique skills were going to get him through it. I mean, when he walks, when he walks into Lenore's house, he turns alpha and like it's, it was very sec. I mean, if I were Lenore.

Sloane Steel (45:37)
No, he was, he was activated.

he reads?

No, he reads that Manta filth.

Zach (45:51)
He's like, he's like, what can I do to help? And he's like, you have a fucking plane, don't you? Get me there. Get me to Paris. Yes. He goes, when he goes yesterday, you fucking idiot. Now get on your knees and suck my balls while I call the cops.

Sloane Steel (46:00)
He was like,

he was literally like, your off shell blah, blah, blah, has an account with neck jets. I want a plane right now.

Zach (46:09)
No, he like turned into Harris Dickinson and Nicole Kidman.

Sloane Steel (46:12)
And Paul, and Paul,

and the rich guy, the rich stepdad was like, how do you know all that? He's like, I'm not gonna let my daughter live in someone's house and I don't know everything about them. Now get me a plane. He was like, hey, sorry, queen. I've been like, yes, daddy, okay, daddy. Liam Neeson coming into your house and yelling at you would be the scariest thing ever.

Zach (46:24)
I don't like yes sir, yes sir, thank you sir. Like truly.

I think so too. I don't want to get into why because it'll it'll really like set off some like deep seated therapy emotions, but I know why he would it would be scary right now. But anyway, so he gets to Paris and he immediately gets into the apartment that they were kidnapped from. And he's like looking around he gets under the bed and I said not him getting under the bed.

Sloane Steel (47:00)
would love to be able to go to a crime scene before anybody knows it's a crime scene and like do the first snoop of investigating. He was like having like the visions of like what happened. He was very in touch with his feminine vision side. He could see everything that happened. I mean, obviously.

Zach (47:07)
He liked it a lot.

He was visioning,

he was. He must have been a water sign.

He, so he finds Peter, the guy who like started all of this, but he gets thwarted because like someone rips him out of the car where Peter is and then Peter runs away. He chases Peter, but Peter gets hit by a truck.

Sloane Steel (47:35)
Sorry Peter.

Zach (47:37)
Next move is he finds a hooker who he like kind of assumes is working for like the sex slave ring finds a hooker he starts to ask her like very like Zach coded to a hooker questions raise like do you like shawarma like what do you like. Like so like they just and she gets mad she's like don't talk to me the pimp is gonna come and kill you. Yeah. So wasn't it like Romanian?

Sloane Steel (47:53)
Where's the best donut kebab around here?

She was like, piss off. I loved her accent.

I don't know what it was, but I loved her.

Zach (48:05)
You just said like it

was cockney. It was like not British.

Sloane Steel (48:08)
but she was just like piss off. Nope. Piss off. Nope. Nope. Okay. All right.

Zach (48:10)
Yeah, whatever. So then, all right, that's the last one, I think. And the Pym

comes out and he's like, I will murder you if you don't leave her alone. And he takes money from him. But what he's doing is putting a like a tracking like, there we go. He's got a translator waiting in the car to translate the recordings or like the whatever. But like that translator was so fucking annoying.

Sloane Steel (48:24)
tracking recording device.

Okay, so this translator was really annoying and also Liam Neeson like needed to explain like a little bit of what was happening because it was like so sketchy.

Zach (48:45)
You're,

I understand, but he kept saying, just translate, just say what they're saying. And the translator would translate one word and then be like, are you sure? And then he'd translate another word and be like, what does this mean? I literally would have, I think I would have grabbed his throat and been like, listen to what I'm saying to you. Just translate the words. Don't fucking come, don't talk to me again. I was getting so irritated by that guy. I was like,

Sloane Steel (48:51)
Yeah, just tell me everything, everything that they're saying.

All the words. All the words.

to say whatever they're saying, I need to hear those words. I was

too. But then when the translator was like, they're talking about a warehouse and some new merchandise that's come in and then Liam Neeson like kicks him out of the car, it's like, maybe we should have kept listening to that part of the conversation.

Zach (49:15)
I was like, you're an idiot.

He just go, I don't know. Anyway, he just from that one sentence, he gets to where he thinks he needs to go. And what it is is a woman whorehouse, a woman market whorehouse, which wouldn't you like and try to stay with me on this? Wouldn't you love to go in there?

Sloane Steel (49:37)
Yeah, classic woman market.

Okay.

into the woman market with the curtains and the women on heroin?

Zach (49:49)
Not, listen, I just think like.

But don't you like have any sort of interest in like seedy places like that?

Sloane Steel (49:58)
No, that to me is the most I think because I worked in like the porn industry and we got a lot of like fucked up things delivered to us.

Zach (50:04)
No I think they're just-

No, I totally understand. Like, it's not that I want to be in a slave, in a sex slave ring market.

Sloane Steel (50:13)
You want to

be, you want to be with like the bad, the bad guys. Yes.

Zach (50:15)
Isn't that so interesting, like to be in a place that's like so

dark and so illegal, but like it's so illegal that no one is like, I get nervous if like I, if I like turn right on red and it says don't turn right on red. It's like, I don't understand like how there are places where these like insane things are happening.

Sloane Steel (50:30)
I would never do such a thing.

You got that big?

It seems so hard to have a secret organization like this, and yet they do happen and it is real. And it's probably, it's probably run by Trump. If I'm being quite honest with you, just like.

Zach (50:48)
And it happens like forever.

I just need to know

more and I wish I could say to the people like, I'm not gonna tell on you, I just need to know more. I'm just really curious, this is so, I would love like a six part mini series documentary on this type of thing, like I need to know more.

Sloane Steel (51:00)
I'm just curious.

I just, how is it organized in this way? Is it wayfarer?

Zach (51:14)
It's just

like how, yes, it's the Markles and it's, it's

Sloane Steel (51:18)
It's the Markles, it's Oprah,

it's Trump, it's Wayfair.com, selling children in cabinets. I think Blake Lively and Justin Valdona are working together. That's all I can say.

Zach (51:23)
It's Justin Baldoni. It's Blake Lively.

just for like a little publicity. So anyway, we're in this whore market and I called it the whore encampment and we start to get an encampment shootout.

Sloane Steel (51:34)
I don't know.

Mm-hmm. It's just a bunch of

lean, it's a bunch of lean-to's. What?

Zach (51:49)
Siri just said, Siri just said I didn't get that, can you try again? And I didn't say anything. my god.

Sloane Steel (51:53)
No, Siri, we can't.

No,

we can't try again, Siri. So it's a bunch of lean-tos, and they give you a number, and you just go into whatever number you get. That's the room you open, and then the girl just looks up and waves at you to come and have sex with her. Ugh.

Zach (51:59)
they're listening and they're like, stop talking about our business.

That was so scary. Because

it's like, you expect them to be like unconscious and just lay there and like get raped all day. But the fact that that girl was like, come in my baby.

Sloane Steel (52:22)
She's just so fucked up and they like, they get that. I mean, this is real. Like they get these girls hooked on drugs and then like, yeah, that is real.

Zach (52:24)
my god.

Is this real? No, I know that like the concept, I

know the concept is real, but it's like, where are how I'm so bad. This is like how I feel with like outer space and like the deep ocean, where it's like, how is this conceptualized? And how do one people even start doing this? And then how do the clients know to do it? It's so bizarre to me.

Sloane Steel (52:40)
Mm-hmm.

Zach (52:55)
How are you as a person who is like afraid of the law going into a whore encampment?

Sloane Steel (52:56)
Hello.

Well, you wouldn't go into a whore encampment if you were afraid of the law. You would just go to the whore encampment. How do you find out about the whore encampment?

Zach (53:07)
Because it's well because I know that like

I know that like Donald Trump and Elon Musk and all those guys are going to like the finale like the big thing like the woman auction where it's like behind plex like I know that they're all going to that that didn't shock me at all. It's more of like the low quality low level sex slavery that gets to me because I'm like

Sloane Steel (53:17)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think what happens is you're at a strip club or you're somewhere where there's like gambling or whatever. And then you ask like, Hey, do you. Yeah. Like if you're at a strip club and you're like, I want to like, you know, have a night with one of the girls or like, we don't, you can't do these girls, but we've got another son of girls for you. Like meet us here. And like, here's the deal. I think it's probably like that kind of situation where like, like I wouldn't know today, for example, like I wouldn't know exactly.

Zach (53:35)
someone tells you to go somewhere.

Okay.

Sloane Steel (53:56)
I don't have any connections for how to like get heroin, but I know enough people in Atlanta that would know someone. And so I could get to that eventually. And so like, even though I'm like a nice woman in a nice house, I eventually could find enough people and go down deep enough into the underbelly of this town to find what I'm looking for. And then I think it's also probably like, if they're doing, if you're a drug dealer and you're buying drugs, that's probably...

Zach (54:05)
Okay.

It's such a foreign concept to me.

Okay.

Sloane Steel (54:23)
also that world where you're like, hey, I'm also looking for this because those people already

Zach (54:27)
drop but here's your

harrowman drop off do you mind if I sneak into one of the curtains?

Sloane Steel (54:32)
Like, hey, thanks for the heroin. Do you know where I can have sex with some girls that came off of the airplane? Any, any chance? That's how it happens. It's crazy. Like, okay, Zach, for you know how this happened, you know, how else this happens? Do you ever see those signs around like your town on like light poles where it's like easy work, like work from home or like they like little weird like yellow signs?

Zach (54:39)
any tense.

I probably have I just haven't even

like know that yeah.

Sloane Steel (55:00)
or like cheap housing, like no credit required, like that kind of shit, you'll notice them now. Those are often sex trafficking things. So don't call those numbers because it's like they get...

Zach (55:04)
Okay, yeah.

What do you mean?

They get you where they

get you as a client.

Sloane Steel (55:18)
they get you because you're like, don't have any money and I'm looking for a work from home job or I'm looking for like low income housing and I can't get like government assistance until you call these numbers. And they're like, yeah, we have this like apartment, it's $100 a month, whatever it is. And then you go there and or they'll be like, yeah, you have to work at this like club and dance at nighttime to pay off like the rent. And that's how you get in that trapped in that world.

and then you can't get out because you don't have any, this is for girls like don't have any options, don't have any family and so they call these numbers, they go to these places, they start working for them and then they can't get out because they owe them money and then if they try to leave, they get fucking hurt.

Zach (55:56)
It's just insane to get yourself in. I don't mean to get yourself into it, but I just mean like it's insane to...

Sloane Steel (55:58)
Yeah.

And it looks legit

on the side. Like the signs are printed out. They're not handwritten. They're like printed signs. They look legitimate.

Zach (56:07)
I'm going to call the next time I see

one, I'm going to call them and see what they say.

Sloane Steel (56:11)
You'll probably be taken very soon after.

Zach (56:14)
And I'll forget everything you told

me and I'll be like, my god, that's so cheap.

Sloane Steel (56:18)
You're like, that's

a great way I can just dance at this club for like the pink pony club for like, and free rent. And then they're like, yeah, also you have to fuck all of these guys. And here's a bunch of drugs that we're going to get you hooked on. Now you owe us drug money too.

Zach (56:32)
I know that it probably, I know like if I found out that that happened in like this small city I live in, would be like shocked. I know that it does, but I just would be like, where? It's just so, I mean, we do have a lot of docks. I'm sure there's a lot of like warehouses and docks and stuff.

Sloane Steel (56:40)
It does. It happens everywhere.

you know what happens.

I mean, you know what happens at any construction site, any big open pit construction site? It's bad news. There's, it's bad. It's bad news. You don't want to fuck with those places. That's all I can say.

Zach (56:56)
Yeah, there's Japanese businessmen, kids who have learned karate,

three young brothers who have learned the arts of ninja.

Sloane Steel (57:07)
But

it's real. It's real.

Zach (57:12)
Alright, anyway, I do think that there should be like a karate ninja movie to thwart sex trafficking. I guess this was kind of it. Alright, anyway. So, thank you for educating me on the arts of sex trafficking. I wonder what the AI is gonna say about this.

Sloane Steel (57:20)
We could write it.

You're welcome. by the way,

our movie could be three ninjas, high poon.

Zach (57:34)
We need to do the three ninjas on this podcast.

Sloane Steel (57:38)
I'm ready. I'm ready right now.

Zach (57:40)
And they're all adults now, so we could get them to do like adult things. All right, anyway, sorry you guys. So he steals a girl from the sex trafficking encampment because she has his daughter's denim bedazzled jacket.

Sloane Steel (57:44)
Ooh, okay, so this could actually work.

Okay.

Like all 17 year old girls love wearing their little denim, basazle jackets.

Zach (58:01)
in Beverly Hill,

like in Los Angeles. there was, listen, there was no way that that that that girl was 17 years old and wholesome and grew up as a millionaire in Los Angeles. Like there's no way. No. If she grew up in like a weird. That's what I mean. There's no way. That girl's been kidnapped before. Like this is.

Sloane Steel (58:06)
So tacky.

Eat my dick, that didn't happen. Like there's no fucking chance. That girl is in the bling ring. Like get out of here. Get the fuck out of here. No. Yeah, like this isn't

her first rodeo. That's why she was the main event. She knew what she was doing. She had to work the crowd. She sold for half a mil. It's crazy.

Zach (58:31)
Thanks.

That's the right that's. She's like, where's

the where's the Arabian prince this time?

Sloane Steel (58:44)
She's like, another yacht, another sheik.

Zach (58:48)
That's the thing, kidnapping me when like, you know, all those girls that were kidnapped were just told they can't leave. Like nothing happened. They just were like, you can't leave.

Sloane Steel (58:54)
They can't leave. mean.

I just like, I feel like if you're getting sex, like where, I would love to see a take in behind the scenes from her perspective. Like where was she kept? What was she fed? Like was she, what was going on?

Zach (59:08)
Well, we

kind of got a good look at that in the couple of houses.

Sloane Steel (59:13)
where her friend was dead.

Zach (59:16)
That was like a very dark but we're gonna get there in a minute. So he sets up an IV, he wakes this girl up.

Zach (1:01:20)
Okay, so he...

sets up an IV, the girl wakes up, he kind of like figures some stuff out. I wrote the quote, scratch your worthless balls, but I don't remember.

Sloane Steel (1:01:35)
Oh, he is like gonna kill someone at the next location he goes to. And yeah, and he's like, he's like, I'm gonna blow, I'll put a bullet in your head faster than you can scratch your worthless balls, something like that.

Zach (1:01:40)
he calls them.

To

be told that my balls are worthless is just so sick. Like, like, nah.

Sloane Steel (1:01:51)
Be like, no, they're not. Like my balls are worth something.

Okay. All right. So anyway.

Alright, so after his worthless balls comment, goes into this like the house, like the, I don't know, like the office building where they conduct their business. And it's he starts to pretend like he's a guy who like the landlord or something or like he's raising rates and he's pretending that he worked that they work for him or something and

Sloane Steel (1:03:46)
Yeah, I don't, it was unclear.

Zach (1:03:53)
I don't know. He's doing bits. He's drinking coffee. He's very confident. I would never have this. I mean, I would have this confidence, but not in that bit. I would walk in and be like, Hey, you guys.

Sloane Steel (1:03:56)
was weird.

Yeah.

Hey, what's up everybody? I brought frappuccinos.

Zach (1:04:04)
I would be like,

no, I would just be like, my God, I was supposed to meet someone from Craigslist on here. Is this the right apartment or?

Sloane Steel (1:04:14)
Wait, this isn't... I mean, you would have to do... I just think you would... And here's the other thing, hold on. This is an interesting point because that guy was actually working for them. The guy whose card he stole to show up to the place. I mean, I guess the lower level guys wouldn't know that they were in Kahoot! So I guess that makes sense, right?

Zach (1:04:16)
my god, I'm...

Yeah.

That's what I

It just would be

very, yeah, I mean, it would be scary. But anyway, so he he does this whole bit rigmarole and he looks at the guy who he heard on. He gives them a thing. He's like, hey, by the way, my Albanian friend gave this to me. Like, can you just like say what it can you like read it or?

Sloane Steel (1:04:43)
Okay.

What does this say?

Zach (1:05:00)
And he goes, good luck.

Sloane Steel (1:05:03)
Good luck. And Liam Neeson has spent a, let's see, from LA to Paris. What would that be like? Like 11, 17 hour flight, 15 hour flight, 15 hour flight where he's just listening. Also, can a NetJet get you from LA to Paris?

Zach (1:05:10)
Truly like, it takes ten at the least, Yeah.

I think if you're like threatening to kill the guy who owns it, you mean without stopping?

Sloane Steel (1:05:27)
I just don't know if the, can those,

yeah. Guess I stopped and gasped maybe on the East Coast. Anyway, who cares? The point is, it was just weird. It was just a weird thing to do.

Zach (1:05:38)
So he hears him say, luck, and he knows that it's the guy. So he turns to him and says, I told you I would find you.

Sloane Steel (1:05:47)
because he has spent the entire 17 hour flight listening to Good Luck on his voice recorder over and over again.

Zach (1:05:53)
That

guy looks up at him and he's like, fuck.

Sloane Steel (1:05:56)
He's like, you're really good. He's like, I'm the best.

Zach (1:05:58)
He's like, wait, you're the my God, you're

that guy I've been talking you guys. This is the guy you guys this is the guy I was telling you about.

Sloane Steel (1:06:05)
I have been like, no way, sis, like you really snapped, you really, you really did that, like, you really did that.

Zach (1:06:10)
Also,

you guys, like if I were these like sex trafficker guys, I would be like, here, take her back. Like, I mean, I know that it's gonna at the end of the day, you guys, it only made them $500,000 in like this multimillion dollar like organization like give her back.

Sloane Steel (1:06:19)
I'm not defending the merchandise.

Give her back. The deeper,

the deeper he goes, the more shit he's going to uncover. just cough her up. He found her, cough her up and then move your operation out of the red door building.

Zach (1:06:37)
No one else's dad. That's

what I mean. It's like no one else's dad is gonna come and do this again. This is a one time thing. My dad wouldn't last a minute in this situation. So it's like

Sloane Steel (1:06:45)
I, crazy.

I think my Scorpio ass would have figured it out.

Zach (1:06:53)
you and I would be like, yeah, we would be having a blast. just mean, I'd be, I'd be Instagram DMing them and trying to get them like to do sexual things and be like, yeah, you're so hot.

Sloane Steel (1:06:56)
I'd be on Facebook looking at friends of friends of the Albanian traffickers. It would be crazy.

fake accounts, I'd be like, I have like three

virgins. No, I would be, it would be crazy. I would end up running the organization.

Zach (1:07:14)
We would end, well

we'd also end up being slaves. Sex slaves. I'd be great, I think I'd be really good at it. I think I'm good at leadership. think that, if that's I mean, I think it'd be like a good business for us. Okay. And then I'd have to do it. It would be, I would execute you. I would be like, you guys just execute her. She's never gonna.

Sloane Steel (1:07:18)
I think I would be a queenpin.

You're organized.

I'd do their social media for a week and then give up and then they'd execute me. Yeah. You would execute me and then I'd be like, okay, but who's gonna edit? She's

never gonna do it. She's gonna say she's gonna do it. She's never gonna do it. And that's it. That's all you're gonna get out of this girl. It's true.

Zach (1:07:41)
She'll you guys she'll do it for one week a year and I'm like that's it.

So anyway,

he finds Amanda dead in that house, is really, it is really, I mean, if my parents found one of my best friends dead, it would be like really traumatizing for them.

Sloane Steel (1:07:51)
Wah wah.

I mean, it was probably her sluttiest friend, so he was probably like, thank God, you know, bad influence.

Zach (1:08:03)
That's true. That's true. I am the,

I'm the bad influence friend. So I think if they'd be like, you know what, they're better off with him dead. So.

Sloane Steel (1:08:12)
It's so crazy to be the bad influence friend. You're like, I'm not a bad influence.

Zach (1:08:15)
I'm not really the bad...

I'm not a bad influence, I just think that my friends have done things because I've made them do them.

Sloane Steel (1:08:23)
I wasn't a bad influence friend. Like would never make my friend do anything bad, but like I would get blamed a lot for things that I didn't do because my friend would blame it on me. And so then that mom told other moms. So I became the bad influence friend and it was easy because my mom was hot and single.

Zach (1:08:38)
My friend made her my friends.

well, that's the thing. My friend's maid of honor refused to get her ears pierced and she it was something that she really like felt strongly about and didn't want to get her ears pierced. And my friend tricked her and took her to the mall and was like, you're getting your ears pierced right now. Because she's like, I'm not putting clip on spore off ski earrings on my maid of honor, so get in that chair. It just it happened, she got her ears pierced that night.

Sloane Steel (1:08:57)
crazy.

As if anybody would know?

Are they still friends?

Zach (1:09:10)
Yeah, we're all best friends.

Sloane Steel (1:09:13)
That's crazy, it's like, Mame your friend?

Zach (1:09:14)
No. No. And you're

getting a boob lift before the wedding.

Sloane Steel (1:09:23)
That I understand, that I understand. I put all of my bridesmaids, is by the way, my wedding was like in 2014. And this is when those dresses you could wear a hundred different ways came on the scene for the bridesmaids. Unfortunately, none of us had done a test run on the dresses before the wedding, which like is crazy. So the date, yes, but it was a dress version in like.

Zach (1:09:37)
Yo

Do mean like the scarf that would be like 18 dresses? Yeah.

Sloane Steel (1:09:52)
in like jersey, like soft jersey material. And so we were wrapping these things and cutting these things. The day of my wedding, like we had not done any trial runs. We're trying to look up like YouTube videos of how to style them. Thank God we had a gay friend with us who was like helping us. He was, no, it was crazy. He was literally running in the room and slapping all of us. He was like, moving. And there was like tying them like all different, cause we all had to have like a different look.

Zach (1:09:53)
Yes.

That is like such a Sloan Coded.

Sloane Steel (1:10:19)
And like some girls had big boobs, some girls had no boobs. And my little cousin cut hers way too short. So she had like the hoochie mama. I mean, Zach, it was crazy. And then after the trauma of those dresses where we were all like, never again, my friend then who got married like a year and a half later ordered the same dresses and we were like, did you not remember? And she was like, but we know what to do now. No, it so crazy.

Zach (1:10:29)
Not hoochie mama.

No. Why are people doing-

Remember when like the trend of like, just buy a color, I don't care what dress it is, happened? Or like it was the same dress in a different style?

Sloane Steel (1:11:01)
That's not right. That's not right. Jenny, Jenny, what's that bridal company? Jenny Wu, Jenny Sue? Okay, some girlies on here will know David's bridal.

Zach (1:11:02)
Anyway.

I don't know. David's bridle.

he sets up an electric chair situation where he starts torturing this guy, which I found to be insane. he then infiltrates the like a lead detective's home. Like he knows him and he knows like his wife and stuff and he just shows up to the apartment. And the poor wife is like thinking that they're having like a really cute sit down.

Sloane Steel (1:11:18)
something I would do.

She's like, it's so good to see you.

Zach (1:11:36)
She's like, it's like they've, this is like the, she's having like a real dinner party. Like, like Tom and Rita need to take something from this. This is like a European. This looked cozy. She got shot.

Sloane Steel (1:11:38)
She's having a fun time.

This looked cozy and nice and she was having a good time. I felt so bad for this poor woman. She did not, she did not,

she did not expect to like get shot between courses.

Zach (1:11:55)
At dinner, she's

like the kids are in bed, having dinner and she gets shot. He just stands up and shoots her.

Sloane Steel (1:11:59)
Liam Neeson shoots her in the arm.

In Liam Neeson's defense, he's like in front of the wife, he's like talking to the guy and he's like, I need to know what you know. And the guy's like, I'm not going to lose my job. I'll do anything for my family. He's like this family and then shoots his wife in the arm and she falls down and she's like, she's crying. And he's like, it's a flesh wound. It'll heal. He's like, now tell me what I need to know.

Zach (1:12:22)
and then he's like, the next one won't be a flesh wound.

Sloane Steel (1:12:25)
Salva's crazy, he's like, I'll kill your fucking kids.

Zach (1:12:28)
Because the thing isn't for your own child you will.

Sloane Steel (1:12:31)
It would be, I would go kill those kids. I would take joy in it.

Zach (1:12:36)
That's the thing. It's like insane.

Sloane Steel (1:12:38)
I understand this movie as a parent. This movie makes perfect sense to me. You would stop, you literally stop at nothing.

Zach (1:12:42)
Yeah.

No, and he finds so he finds where his daughter is he's at a woman auction I wrote a woman auction is insane. Like, I mean, again, I just find it so my brain can't wrap around where this happens and when it happens. And

Sloane Steel (1:13:03)
It's like invite only glass onion knives out houses and then in the basement while a party is going on upstairs, it's like, why are you scheduling the slave auction the same night as the party? Like what if a caterer gets lost and ends up in the auction?

Zach (1:13:17)
And you.

And like as a as a.

Sloane Steel (1:13:21)
and you've built an

auction, a woman auction hall. Like who built that? It's a gorgeous rotunda.

Zach (1:13:24)
it's a beautiful. It's a really cool like

rotating room with beautiful plexies. Everyone's in their own private room with a little auction button. And it's just like, here's where I'm wondering, you get purchased.

Sloane Steel (1:13:41)
Mm-hmm.

Zach (1:13:43)
What happens after it's like you go home with a billionaire, right? Are you literally like locked in a dungeon and just taken out when you want to have sex when the guy wants to have sex with you? Like, how is this like managed afterwards? It's like you. Okay, you buy a girl and then what?

Sloane Steel (1:13:47)
Mm-hmm.

That I don't know.

Maybe the girls that we see in like the curtain rooms are girls that got the fancy treatment. Well, because they drug them up so hard that they can't do anything. They're like zombies.

Zach (1:14:05)
You act like they won't try to escape?

So the sheik, so

the billionaire sheik just has some like like a nurse who administers like heroin every like day or something.

Sloane Steel (1:14:19)
Yeah. Again, this takes us back to our seven episode where we have Kevin Spacey doing his murderer errands. And it's like the Sheik's personal heroin administrator guard. Like, or is it just a bodyguard that also does heroin injections? Like what's the tea there? What's the story? Who's doing, who's the management? Like, is it like when you go into like a restaurant's bathroom and they have like the little check marks next to who did everything?

Zach (1:14:26)
That's what I mean!

I need to know the day-to-day management.

Right.

Sloane Steel (1:14:47)
Do they have like, okay, I dosed that girl number 24 at 4.30 PM. Like, how does this work?

Zach (1:14:54)
And yeah, like are they then like trying to kill you every time? It's just like I'm just it's very

Sloane Steel (1:14:58)
No, I think

once you go to the chic and the chic has takes your virginity, then you're ruined. And then you go.

Zach (1:15:05)
Or is that all

he wants? He just wants to take virginity.

Sloane Steel (1:15:08)
I think take virginity from like a pretty young American girl and then you get sent to the little shanty town to be in those little areas where you just get fucked all day for money.

Zach (1:15:19)
Okay, so this was just about the virginity.

Sloane Steel (1:15:21)
Yeah, I think that's like, because she fetched the highest price at the auction. They were like, we saved the best for as usual. We saved the best for last. Who is the voice? Who? Where'd she get that job? Where'd she get that job? Are you're just you're narrating the slave auction? Are you one of the slave girls who just didn't have a lot of heroin that day so you could like enunciate? It's just it's not it's not adding up.

Zach (1:15:30)
And who's that? That's what I'm saying.

But you had a beautiful buttery voice.

She's

like, last but not least, our tightest pussy. And it's like, my god.

Sloane Steel (1:15:51)
truly, it's Samantha Jones.

honey, we've got a virgin from America from the Palisades. honey.

Zach (1:15:56)
It's Blanche Devereaux and Samantha

Jones. They would love each other.

Sloane Steel (1:16:02)
They really would get along great. Two sluts. Two sluts who care. Two sluts who care. Human auction announcing, that's their company. It's a long title. Virgin? I mean, coxswain. Nope. Nope.

Zach (1:16:06)
Anyway. Oh, honey, did you say auction? Okay.

It's

just like a crazy so. Anyway. Beautiful we see the beautiful costumes we've already talked about those. Why didn't he just shoot the glass in the window? Why didn't he just shoot the glass when his daughter was in the room?

Sloane Steel (1:16:30)
Be dead.

I think that would have been harder to escape. I don't know. that have been harder to escape? I don't know. I don't know what to do. That's true. I don't know what I would have done in that situation. And I actually liked that he got, you know, he's such a on it guy. And I liked that his emotions were so high that they clouded his CIA judgment to let himself get captured. That moment, like, obviously I know he's going to get his daughter in the end, but like that moment stressed me the fuck out.

Zach (1:16:44)
Well he doesn't escape so that's...

Hmm.

Yeah. You got too close.

Me too.

Sloane Steel (1:17:07)
I was like, shit, no, he's dead. He gets like bonked on the classic bonked. Where do you get bonked when you fall down? it your neck? Your dowager's hump.

Zach (1:17:15)
I like at the- I think it's the bada- it's where the neck and the head meet.

It's where like you wanna smell Pedro.

Sloane Steel (1:17:24)
The balls.

Zach (1:17:26)
You're like the dirty foreskin, the ripe foreskin.

Sloane Steel (1:17:27)
armpit Yeah, what he his dirty

is Chilean foreskin after a workout Is that what you mean? Okay So then they tie him up they tie he gets catch not catch not me I'm getting catch so he gets catch

Zach (1:17:33)
Yeah, you hit them there. Okay. Anyway, he gets patched. He gets catched. Not catched. He gets caught and he

does like the classic thing where he like, you know, he breaks the little valve and someone gets sprayed and he escapes. He follow he gets onto the boat where we find more beautiful costumes and

Sloane Steel (1:17:53)
Yeah.

Zach (1:18:01)
he finally gets to his daughter after like mowing down

Sloane Steel (1:18:03)
And do we have

a trunk that has the costumes that are they bringing those on board?

Zach (1:18:09)
Who is Sloan

who is carrying the cost? It's like.

Sloane Steel (1:18:13)
Also, they dyed his daughter's hair. Who's doing hair and makeup on the girls?

Zach (1:18:16)
who's doing here.

This is where I need to, is there like an evil gay? Is there like a-

Sloane Steel (1:18:22)
there is for sure an evil Parisian gay, okay, at the helm of this.

Zach (1:18:25)
Yeah. Who's getting paid

a lot of money and he's like, listen, it's just, it just is what it is.

Sloane Steel (1:18:29)
It's probably Tyra

Banks, to be honest with you. I just feel that really deeply. Okay. All right.

Zach (1:18:33)
Wow, you're right.

Wow.

Almost, all right, nevermind. All right, so he finds his daughter in the sheik's bedroom and he, the sheik is so stupid. He's got like a knife to her throat. It's like you have a gun. It's like he's pointing a gun at you, you idiot.

Sloane Steel (1:18:53)
And the chic is like, we can work something out.

Zach (1:18:55)
He

starts to say we can make a we can compromise like you think a father's gonna be like, okay, you can fuck her and then we'll and then just let me Yeah, fine Fuck her and then I'll take her No So he shoots her and she goes you came for me you came for me Could you imagine? Could you imagine Joel steel? barging barging through that door

Sloane Steel (1:19:02)
I'll just sit in the cuck chair. Do you have a daddy cuck chair? And then I'll take her back? Yeah, he's like, I'm just gonna shoot her. This poor girl has been through so much.

I know. was so, it was so sweet. Showing off.

I don't think so. He would be like, honey, you're... He'd be like, honey, you got a sheik. You pulled a sheik.

Zach (1:19:24)
He'd be like, why is that guy so fat?

No, he'd be

like, you look beautiful in that sex cloak.

Sloane Steel (1:19:34)
He really would be. He's like, I love that cloak on you. That's very slimming.

Zach (1:19:38)
He'd like, you know what,

your honor, just if you could just take her virginity really quickly and then we'll let me knock on the door when we're ready.

Sloane Steel (1:19:41)
very slimming.

Yeah.

I just like don't know what the sheik thought was gonna happen. And Liam Neeson's like, I'm gonna blow your fucking head off. And he does.

Zach (1:19:53)
And

he does. then, you know, they go home and

Sloane Steel (1:19:57)
Wait, can I

tell you my biggest problem with the Sheik's bedroom?

You have this multi-million dollar yacht and you are telling me that you have to have your wall outlets for your floor lamps on the side of the floor with like black outlet covers. Those need to be behind the bed or in floor. We need a hidden outlet. They were, they were plugged into the sign of the wall.

Zach (1:20:21)
on the yacht was dated.

Sloane Steel (1:20:24)
the yacht, you know what, if I was on that boat, no, if I was on that boat losing my virginity to a sheik on a round bed with those lamps from Ikea, I would be like, not, it's not going down like this, not today.

Zach (1:20:25)
The Round Bed?

Can you get me a better chic?

Sloane Steel (1:20:37)
A better she- a richer- I need a richer chic. I need a richer chic.

Zach (1:20:40)
Also, like,

it's funny because she gets given to the guy. She gets given to this, like, Middle Eastern man, and he really didn't want to spend that much money. Like, I mean, Liam Neeson was making the guy spend up to $500,000. So it's like, was the Sheik like, that's what I mean. Like, is the guy in trouble? And is the Sheik like, no, like, are you kidding me? This is, she's kind of, she looks really drugged. I don't want.

Sloane Steel (1:20:54)
Yeah.

Wasn't the guy in trouble?

She's not really worth it.

Why

would I want this virgin who doesn't know how to like, I don't want this girl who like doesn't know how to suck dick, underage girl who doesn't know how to suck a dick for half a million dollars. We shouldn't want that. We shouldn't. That's weird.

Zach (1:21:09)
I asked for a lively one.

Why does anyone want- Alright, we shouldn't.

That's weird, you guys. If you're listening to this and you're a she

who buys sex slaves, like you're weird. Anyway, so they get home. They get home and I just wrote like they kind of go back to normal life, but I wrote like that's like such an insane thing to experience to just go back to like wholesome life. It's not because it's listen, it's not like she just got kidnapped and like. It wasn't like it wasn't like Elphette Dakota Fanning like and then.

Sloane Steel (1:21:26)
You need to stop.

the trauma?

taken for a little bit.

No.

Zach (1:21:49)
getting kidnapped in like a little kid movie. It was like she was put into like a sex slave world that like no one ever gets to see.

Sloane Steel (1:21:55)
Her, her,

she was administered drugs she doesn't take and her best friend was murdered.

Zach (1:22:02)
Murdered she was probably I mean I know that they wanted to keep her a virgin, but I'm sure that they did other things It's just like to go from like a wholesome like Beverly Hills like lifestyle

Sloane Steel (1:22:11)
Well,

they say she's a certified virgin, which means they performed a disgusting exam on her.

Zach (1:22:17)
Yeah,

they had to go up and see if it was still intact.

Sloane Steel (1:22:20)
UGH Which like what this girl only uses pads?

Zach (1:22:25)
She did seem kind of like a dork.

Sloane Steel (1:22:28)
She did seem like a pad girl. No offense to pad girls out there, but you are a dork and you know it.

Zach (1:22:33)
Okay, thank you for listening. That's gonna do it.

Sloane Steel (1:22:43)
my god. Didn't think it would end with that.

Zach (1:22:44)
that's gonna do it for

Taken by Zach and Sloan and

Sloane Steel (1:22:51)
Luc Besson.

Zach (1:22:52)
We hope you get taken.

Sloane Steel (1:22:54)
If you guys want to start a sex trafficking club, just like let us know, because as you know, we have some good ideas and I will bring the budget for the costumes and I will bring me in an attention to detail that you have never seen before on your sex traffic girls. So let us know.

Zach (1:23:10)
That was a good elevator speech. Bye.

Sloane Steel (1:23:12)
Thanks, bye.